Encounter with my Guru

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HI there,

As I was reading the book 'Autobiography of a Yogi' I suddenly recalled how I met my guru and how he transformed my life in ways I could have never imagined. I never knew who he was what he was but the need to have a guru in my life, the thirst to have guru came a long time back specially from the time I was kid, because unlike others I was tad bit different, my outlook towards life had been different when every other kid would be busy buying toys and everything my thoughts were  pertaining the mystery of life, having seen deaths of kids of my own age,  I often used to wonder where did they go and what's going to be their journey, is life so fragile, how long we live can anybody predict. All these questions used to bother me and on the other side I see the beauty too. Couldn't wrap my head around the concept Of God. I was so inquisitive whenever I asked questions everyone asked me to read the scriptures, I could read them but could never understand them, that's how my fascination towards Sanskrit began but after a while I found out these all meanings are deep but based on everyone's take from that particular scripture it's meaning varied out.

During this period I had come across many sadhus some so powerful I could feel their energy radiating with their eyes closed, some so fierce that I would start crying seeing them and some so peaceful that we could feel the peace within us itself and I wanted to feel that blissful state for ever.  As usual seeing my interest in spirituality got my mom worried thinking I was planning to become a sanyasi, the more she stood against this more help I got from the Universe in clearing my doubts about life. Funny thing is my mom used to do many poojas and vrats for all different Hindu Gods and would ask me to do that , and I would do them ; but my mom believed that what I was seeking was not a spiritually inclined but what she was doing is completely spiritual and I was always amused because she couldn't understand I was seeking peace within me.

During that time frame My dad got shot and the world around me crumbled and that's when the fear of Life gripped me, even though I could show the world that I can handle anything but inside I was extremely fearful of every single thing and I was getting emotionally drained out . And somehow Universe managed to break those barriers and reached me through Rekhi, that's when I realized it's one concept that I could resonate with easily 'everything is energy' and so is GOD too and so is entire Universe, and once that fell in the place slowly my journey started unfolding. Soon I realized that I could sense people's energy and could sense what they were going through and I could sense even I was getting affected too with that. Few people wanted to train me and make me their disciple but my energies felt otherwise. 

In 11th standard during Maha Shivratri I felt the same strong energy and bliss just by watching a small episode of yogi  broadcasted on TV that night, I didn't know who he was then but I felt bliss again the way I had felt once and I forgot about it. Then after completion of my 12th exam I came across a photo of Dhyanlinga of Coimbatore, the only thing I saw was the Linga in middle of water. I was so mesmerized by that Linga, at that time that I felt the same peaceful state again within me. I had no idea then that it was Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev's Mahashivratri  that I had seen and this temple was Dhyanlinga that was built by him , the only thing I was resonating with was the peaceful feeling it gave me every single time.

 Unaware of these connection getting built I was busy with the dramas of my life, trying to manage my energy was getting difficult at this point . With so many ups and downs I had lost my confidence that's when I met Sadhguru out of the blue during my Final year of MBA and that was when my life transformed completely , I felt I was home, I felt more in control of myself and I started becoming myself again kind of a rebirth, everyday still learning a bit more about myself and unlearning a lot of things. 

It's true a guru will always come to us when we need him the most and just like that he made the life simple for me, much more joyful and happier place to be where I could be in a state wonderment like a Kid observing silently closely and be in connection with Universe. It's not that I don't get disconnected , I do get disconnected carried away sometimes and during those epic times Sadhguru enters my life and gets me back on track and I am back to being myself .

This is why I trust the Universe soo much because Universe knows what we need when me need like a mother who knows what her child needs. I wasn't aware that the entire step one after another that I took was  was getting me a step closer and closer to Sadhguru . That's how Universe functions in everyone's life. So trust the Universe it has a plan for us. It's always guiding us, we just have to be calm to listen to it.

Thank you to my beautiful Universe and my Guru Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev for getting me closer to me. 

With loads of love and blessings

Anupa Udayan

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